


Limbo

by OreoLuvr13



Series: Revelations [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Athena Grant and Bobby Nash are Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parents, Buckley Family Secret, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Secrets, Found Family, M/M, Post-Episode: s04e05 Buck Begins, Protective Athena Grant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:41:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29622165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OreoLuvr13/pseuds/OreoLuvr13
Summary: It's been nearly a month since Buck and Judd learned the truth. But both are stuck in a strange sorta limbo. Judd doesn’t want to push his nephew into something he’s not ready to face and Buck doesn’t know if he’s ready to get to know his new found family. Luckily, they have some caring people in their lives to help move things forward.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & May Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Grace Ryder/Judd Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star)
Series: Revelations [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149515
Comments: 77
Kudos: 644
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	1. Here Goes Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> I am truly ecstatic at how well received “Revelations” was. You guys are amazing! So it looks like my take was not what the writers had in mind, but at least I had the name Daniel…

Grace leans back against the headboard. It’s late but not too late. Judd went into work earlier that afternoon and won’t be back until the morning. She’s no stranger to long nights where she is home by herself, but that doesn’t make them any easier or less lonesome. With absolutely nothing on television and everything done for the night, she decides to pull up her Instagram. Check in and see what the 126 are up to today.

She’s not big into social media. Doesn’t post a lot at all. Comments when Tommy posts a cute picture of the girls. Does the customary congratulatory posts when someone she knows posts that they are getting married or expecting. She basically only set up her Facebook and Instagram as a way to stay connected to her old friends from high school and family members who have moved away over the years. Much unlike her husband’s younger and much more social media friendly co-workers.

Marjan was the first person from the 126 she began to follow. At first it was purely done as a means to see what they were up to. And two, Marjan is a badass. Simple as that. At first Grace didn’t go out of her way to follow other members of the 126. She wanted to keep that line between her and her husband’s co-workers, cordial and friendly but still professional. But over time they began to follow her. Mateo. Paul. TK. And through TK, Carlos and she them.

One of the first posts she comes across tonight is Marjan’s with Mateo, Paul, and TK tagged in it with the caption “Things got a little saucy today.” It’s from earlier in their shift. They’re all back at the firehouse covered head to toe in what looks like barbecue sauce. Grace can’t help but let out a loud laugh as she looks at her husband and his co-worker’s annoyed faces. She heard about that call. There was an explosion at some local barbecue sauce bottling place. Thankfully, the fire that first alerted emergency services was quickly put out, but that didn’t stop the huge containers of barbecue sauce from exploding…all over members of the 126.

Grace clicks on comments to see what others are saying. There are a bunch of emojis and one saying how at least it wasn’t a hot sauce bottling plant. She’s about to comment something along the lines that she’ll make some barbecue ribs for the next firehouse get together when her eyes sees the comment ‘what time is dinner? I’ll bring the chicken.’ Or more importantly when she sees who made the comment. Buck. Evan. Danny’s Evan.

She lets out a loud sigh. It’s been a month since they found out that Buck, or Dumbasser as Judd calls him, from the 118 is actually Evan. Judd’s nephew Evan, who he has not seen in twenty-nine years. It sounded like a good idea when she first suggested that they let Evan make the first move last month after they found out the truth. The kid’s world had been rocked to it’s very core. They didn’t want to push him into something if he wasn’t ready.

What Grace did not take into consideration when she made her suggestion was the fact that Judd and the other members of the firehouse have already met Buck. It was one thing to suggest sitting back and letting Evan make the first move when they thought he was living in Pennsylvania and they had no connection was one thing. But knowing that he was here in Austin and that Judd actually worked alongside him, made holding back so much harder. He was no longer a kid frozen at the age of six but was nearly thirty years old with a partner and a kid of his own who he clearly adores based on Instagram profile pic. 

Then there’s the fact that Evan has gotten close with TK and Mateo. From what Judd says the three of them talk all time. The younger members of the126 have no idea that when they are causally talking about what their friend Buck is up to LA they are feeding Judd information on his nephew’s doings. Hearing about that close call at that perfume turn hand-sanitizer plant only exasperated the situation. They came so close to losing Evan again. For good.

_“I heard it was close, Gracie. Too damn close. If his crew didn’t go back in when they did…he might’ve not made it.”_

Seeing how upset Judd was after hearing about Evan’s close call from his co-workers broke Grace’s heart.

_“I want to hug him,” Judd says rubbing his chin. “That is after I smack him in the back of the head. What the hell was he thinking splitting from his crew during a five alarm. Freaken dumbass.”_

Knowing how close they came to never getting the chance to see Evan again shook them, yet they are still afraid of reaching out. That by doing so now they will scare the kid away from reaching out for good. Hell, maybe Evan thinks that they don’t want anything to do with him. They haven’t had any contact with him since he was a baby. Did he think that they didn’t want anything to do with him now and that’s why they haven’t contacted him since he learned the truth?

Like she always says to Judd tomorrow is not guaranteed. They know that in their line of work. They gave Evan a month to wrap his head around his true parentage. Maybe it’s time for a little nudge in the right direction. Not an ambush. Just let him know that they are there when or if he’s ready.

Grace hovers over Evan’s Instagram handle before she begins typing. “Here goes nothing.”

**XXXXX**

The LA fall air is cool but not too cool as May runs in step alongside Buck. Or attempts to. May likes to think that she is pretty good shape. She exercises regularly and eats healthy, but she’s no match for a more fit and stressed Buck. What was she thinking when she texted Buck earlier this morning asking if he was up to join her for a run. Damn you Eddie and your early morning texts.

**Eddie:** U need to check on Buck

_Ok…why_

**Eddie:** Im in the middle of a 24 shift. Buck’s uncle’s wife DM’ed him last night

_Shit. What did he say_

**Eddie:** Nothing. Just that she DM’ed him. That’s why im worried.

_Nothing?_

**Eddie:** 0

Buck probably didn’t want to bother Eddie when he was in the middle of a long shift, but that only worries May more. It means that Buck has been sitting on this for awhile now. His stomach in knots over it.

_He’s spiraling_

**Eddie:** Yep

They’ve been running for twenty minutes when a sharp cramp hits her. She stops suddenly, gasping for breath. “Stop! Buck!”

Buck is about twenty feet ahead when he notices she’s no longer at his side. He jogs back to her. “Shit, May. You okay?”

“Me? I’m not the one who inhaled a crap ton of smoke the other day. Should you even be running like this?”

Buck waves off her concern. “Clean bill of health. Ask Bobby. Sorry, I was going so hard. I was in the zone.”

She’s bent over with her hands on her thighs, looking up. “The zone? What the hell zone are you in? What the hell are you running from? And why are you okay with killing me on the way.”

She knows exactly what he’s running from. She’s just waiting for him to actually talk to her. Either Buck really wants to talk or he feels sorry for this run from hell. Probably a combination of the two because May doesn’t have to wait long.

“My uncle’s wife DM’ed,” Buck says bouncing his weight from one leg to the other.

She’s not surprised that Buck’s father’s family reached out. May figured that it was only going to be a matter of time before someone was going to make the first move. It has been a month since the truth came out. Granted she thought Buck would be the one to make the first move. If not him, then maybe his father. Or maybe his grandfather or an uncle. She didn’t think it would be his uncle’s wife. 

“His wife?” May ask standing up straight.

“Uh huh,” Buck says. “She’s a 9-1-1 dispatcher in Austin.”

“I heard Austin gets some crazy calls. Nothing like we do here. I bet Grace is great though.”

“Grace?” Buck asks, tilting his head to the side.

Crap. Buck never said his aunt’s name. She got so caught up in Buck finally opening up about the situation that she showed her hand. In the month since Buck learned the truth about his parentage he’s been eerily quiet about it. Bobby only found after Buck came to him after missing work right after Maddie told him the truth. Bobby of course told her mom. She and her mother and stepfather all share the same suspicion that Buck only confided in Bobby to reassure her step-father that he was still able to do the job. That he didn’t need to be sidelined again. May thinks that if the events from last year didn’t happen then Buck would have kept it all to himself. It breaks May’s heart that even after all this time, Buck is still so afraid to be alone. To be left behind. At least now they know the roots to this fear.

Buck told May in a way too casual text a couple weeks ago.

_So my parents are really my grandparents. Maddie’s my aunt. My mom is her dead sister and my dad runs some zip lining business in Costa Rica._

That was the first and until now the only time Buck has said anything to her about his parents.

“How do you know the name of my uncle’s wife?”

How the hell is she going to get herself out of this one?

“May?” Buck asks tiredly. May can’t but frown when she hears the exhaustion in his voice. He hasn’t been sleeping. The huge bags under his eyes tell her as much.

“Fine!” May says. “I may have found the background check my mom did on your family when I accidentally came across it. And before you begin, I know I shouldn’t have looked. I already heard it from Mom.”

“Athena ran a background check on my dad’s family?” Buck asks, voice cracking with emotion. His teary eyes only making the lump in her throat grow since her little slip up.

"’course she did. Did you honestly think she was going to let anyone mess with her Buckaroo even if you share the same DNA.” May says with her hands on her hips in a poor imitation of her mother.

_“I’m sorry, mom. I shouldn’t have gone through your stuff.” May apologizes looking away from the printouts of the Ryder family that are covering the kitchen counter._

_“You’re right it’s an invasion of privacy,” Mom says as she gathers the papers into a pile._

_May can’t help but shake her head at the irony of what her mom just said. Privacy. Really? Her mom is going to lecture her about privacy after running what looks like a very thorough background check on Buck’s father’s family without Buck’s knowledge._

_Sensing where her daughter is going with this, Mom holds her hand up. “I did what I did to protect Buck.”_

_“What did you do to protect Buck?” Bobby asks walking into the kitchen. “Do I even want to know?”_

_May looks at her mother who doesn’t respond right away. Bobby turns to his step-daughter. “Mom….”_

_“I ran a background check on Buck’s father’s family.”_

_“Athena,” Bobby says rubbing a hand over his chin. “You used police resources to run a check on his family?”_

_Mom shakes her head. “No, I had a former colleague who now runs a very respectable private investigation firm do some research into Buck’s father’s side of the family.”_

_“Athena,” Bobby says. “Let’s not get caught up in technicalities here. Did Buck ask you to?”_

_Her mom raises her eyebrow with a “what do you think look?”_

_“Athena—"_

_“Yes, I had someone look into Buck’s father’s family without him asking. If you think I’m going to let some people mess with Buckaroo then you’re surely mistaken. I don’t care if they share the same DNA or not. We’re that boy’s family in all the ways that matters.”_

_Bobby can’t help but smile as he moves closer to his wife. “I love when you get all protective.”_

_“I can’t help it. Buck’s a golden retriever in human form.” She replies as she allows Bobby to pull her into a tight embrace._

_“That seems to be the consensus at the firehouse. But let’s hold off on any phone calls to the Austin PD for now.”_

May doesn’t include what her nother said when she pulled away from Bobby. _“That boy has been through too damn much to let some people in who say they’re family only to hurt him. Some family. Where the hell have they been for the last twenty-nine damn years.”_ She’ll save that for another day.

“What did she find out?” Buck asks.

“I’m sure a lot of what you did,” May says. “I bet you’ve been looking them up online for the last month.”

She doesn’t need to see the sheepish smile on his face to know she’s right. Eddie has told her as much.

“Maybe,” Buck says with a shrug. May nudges him playfully in the shoulder. “Yeah, I found out some stuff.”

“Like what?” May presses. She knows some. She was able to read a couple of things before her mother caught her red handed. But she’ll let Buck tell her what he wants.

“Well, I have three uncles. One runs a horse riding program for at risk kids.”

“That’s pretty cool,” May says as they walk along the boardwalk.

Buck nods. “Another is a physical therapist. Judd, the one I met is a firefighter.”

May smiles at that. “Firefighting must run in your blood.” Buck frowns. She thought that would have gotten a sly smile or the patent Buckley blush.

“What is it?” May asks.

Buck doesn’t answer her at first. It takes him a couple of tries before he can think of is exactly what he wants to say before he does. “I’m thinking something else runs in my veins. Like I’m the chip off the old block. Dropping out of college. Running away from home. Traveling all over the western hemisphere. Never staying in the same place for too long. No ties. No connections. It’s like I was took a page right out of Dan’s playbook.”

May can’t help but frown. She drew the same parallels between father and son when she learned about Buck’s father. Call her naïve but she was hoping that Buck wouldn’t. After her mom caught her looking through the background report, she did some research of her own. Daniel Ryder left Texas for good at the age twenty-five after one arrest too many for drunken disorderly. Any electronic blueprint for Daniel Ryder is hard to find after 1998.

“You know that’s not true,” Mays says sadly.

Buck shakes his head vigorously. “All that’s missing is a couple of police reports. Except for that his life is like looking like a mirror image of mine from a few years ago.”

“Buck, did you hear what you just said. You may have been like that years ago but that was before your started with the LAFD. Before you got a job you love and met Eddie, Chris, and the rest of us. You’re not that person anymore.”

Buck rubs his eye with his fist. “It’s not just that.”

“Then what is it?” May asks. “What are you afraid of?”

Buck stops walking and turns to May. “For twenty-nine years they weren’t a part of my life. They didn’t make any effort. They just left me with my parents. My mother’s parents,” he corrects. “And never looked back. What if they do the same thing again.”

“Then screw them.”

“What?” Buck asks.

“You heard me. No matter what happens with them. If you guys hit it off and decide to spend every other Thanksgiving with them or they’re idiots and you decide never to see them again, we’ll all be here for you. Maddie. Eddie. Bobby. All of us. We’ll be here.”

And Mom will make their lives hell. A thousand miles won’t be enough to protect them from Athena Grant’s wrath when one of her cubs get hurt.

“What do you think I should do?” Buck asks.

May shakes her head. “Nah this is all you.” Too many people have decided what they deemed was the right decisions in Buck’s life. He needs to make this decision on their own. “You need to decide what you think is right.”

“I get that,” Buck says. “But what would you do if you were me? Would you try and reach out?”

May thinks for a few seconds before she speaks. “I think you have what Maddie told you and what you have found online. You have a picture of what happened, but it’s not the full picture. If I were you, I would want the full picture before I decide to either make them a part of my life or not.” She wants to say something else. But she stops herself. She doesn’t know if Buck is ready to hear it yet.

Personally, she thinks her pseudo brother needs to learn about his father’s family before he can truly be happy. It’s true that Buck is the happiest that she has ever seen him with the way things are right now, but May can’t help but think that there is something missing. Like Buck is being overly cautious. Like he’s afraid that the other shoe is gonna drop any day. She once told Eddie that she had thought that Buck had major abandonment issues. Now they know why. It’s all so obvious. Left at such a young age in a house void of love. The real truth hidden from him for his whole life. It’s no wonder why Buck is always thinking that he is going to be the one left behind. He was for so many years.

She decides to throw caution in the wind. Buck can do whatever he wants but she needs to say this first. “I think that for you to move on from this you need to face your past. And that means learning about your dad. See why he did what he did. You know why you ran away from home. But you don’t know why he did. ”

“I was looking for something that I didn’t have growing up,” Buck says.

May nods. “And when did you stop running?”

“When I started working at the 118 and met all you guys.” Buck says, letting what what May is saying sink in.

“Exactly,” May says. “When you found what you were looking for.”

“I thought that you were thinking prelaw. Now that sounded like some psych major stuff right there,” Buck says smiling.

“Don’t tell Mom,” May says as they start walking again. “She’ll have me registered for psych classes for the spring semester.”

Buck smirks. “I can see her doing that. She still giving you a hard time about working at the dispatch center?” Buck asks.

“She’s coming around…slowly.” May replies. “Come on, let’s get a smoothie. It’s the least you owe me after nearly killing me on that run.”

Buck nods his head. “Fine. It’s the least I owe you.”

“I mean you did almost kill me,” May says with a smirk.

“Not just because of that,” Buck says running a hand through his sweaty curls. “For listening to me. I…uh didn’t really know what to do when I saw Grace’s DM last night. I would normally talk to Maddie. But things are kinda not great between us right now. Things are not like how they used to be before.”

Before he found out that Maddie had been lying to him his whole life.

“And I love Eddie. He’s been amazing through this whole thing. Playing interference with Chim and Maddie. Not saying anything when I go off about Maddie not telling me the truth all these years or when I get out of bed for the third night in a row after finding another article about nature vs. nurture. He’s working a 24 hour and I didn’t want to lay this on him in the middle if it. “ 

He leaves out that Eddie is also not the best when it comes to dealing with emotions. Eddie’s not the only one. She loves Buck. He’s family. But when it comes to dealing with emotions, they are both completely hopeless.

“You don’t need to thank me for being here for you, Buck. That’s what family’s for.”

**XXXXX**

Buck is lying in bed later than night, well after Christopher is in bed, with Eddie’s arm wrapped around his waist.

“You’re quiet,” Eddie says into his neck.

“Yeah, sorry.” Buck says playing with Eddie’s fingers that are skimming across his lower ribs. “Got a lot on my mind.”

Eddie hmmms against Buck’s neck. “Did you decide if you’re gonna accept Grace’s DM?”

Buck leans back against Eddie, taking comfort in his partner’s warm embrace.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Did you talk to May? What did she have to say?”

Buck looks over his shoulder. “How did you know I talked to May about it?”

Eddie shrugs. “I figured you would. I know that you had to talk to someone. I had to work and I know you and Maddie are not really talking. Thought May might be it. She had nothing to say about it? That doesn’t sound like her.”

Buck shakes his head. “No, she did. She had a lot actually. I’m just thinking everything over.”

“Like what?”

“She said that it might be good for me to get the whole picture. Hear what my father’s family has to say,” Buck pulls Eddie’s arm around him tighter. “That no matter what happens with them that I already have a family. You. Chris. Maddie. Bobby and everyone else.”

When Buck is met with silence he goes on. “You don’t have anything to say?”

“Nah, I think May is right.”

“You do?”

Eddie nods. “I do. I also think that knowing is better than not knowing. That whatever Grace and your dad’s family has to say has to be better than whatever worse case scenario is playing havoc up here,” he says kissing the back of Buck’s head.

“I don’t know a lot about Judd. But he’s seems like a decent enough guy. And the fact that he and the rest of the family hasn’t contacted you until now tells me they are trying to respect your privacy. I don’t know if I could do the same if I was in their shoes. Knowing that I unknowingly met my long lost nephew.”

Buck turns around and kisses Eddie softly on the lips before breaking away. “Thanks for being here.”

“Always,” Eddie says. “No matter what happens. Chris and I will be here. We’re not going anywhere.”

“I know,” And Buck does. He knows Eddie, Chris, and Maddie, even as upset as he is with her right now, aren’t going anywhere. The same with Bobby, Athena, May, Chim, Hen, and everyone else. He reaches out to the nightstand and grabs his phone. “Here goes nothing.”


	2. A Step Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and Grace have connected on Insta. Now It’s time for Grace to tell Judd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: You guys are the best! Thanks for all of your support as this story continues to unfold. Also, since we don’t know how long Grace and Judd have been together. I made an educated guess.

_Evan…Buck,_

_Where do I even begin? I don’t even know who I should address this message to. Evan or Buck. All these years I’ve known you as Evan. My husband’s nephew who was born twenty-nine years ago to his big brother Danny and his first and in my humble opinion only love, Katie. The nephew that he only met once when Katie flew down with you to Texas the summer before her passing, but still has a special spot in his heart all these years later. I heard Katie was adventurous and flying with a newborn, man you can’t get more much adventurous (or crazier) than that._

_Judd and I have been together for nearly eleven years. Married for eight. During those years you have always been Evan. That is until a couple of weeks ago when your world was rocked to the core and Judd made the realization that “This dumbass from LA named Buck was gonna steal a firetruck with TK to go out and get Cap and a paramedic from his firehouse without any damn backup” and the nephew he last saw when he was a newborn was one in the same._

_When Danny told us that you recognized Judd and that you now know the truth about who your mom and dad are, I am the one who made the suggestion that we wait and let you make the first move. I can only imagine how you feel. The questions you have after learning something like that. That everything you thought you knew was a lie. So much has been out of your control. I thought this could be something that you had a say in, for once._

_Then I began to think. That what if you were waiting on us to make the first move. That by putting the ball in your court was the wrong move and only made you think that we didn’t want you in our lives._

_That I can tell you is the farthest thing from the truth._

_I can’t say why Danny or your grandparents did what they did. I have never been able to understand why Danny does what he does now and that’s after knowing him for years, let alone why he did what he did when he had teenage hormones coursing through his body._

_But I can tell you what I do know. I can tell you that you are loved. That Judd may only have been a kid when you were born, but he still loves you._

_I know that Judd was the one that bought you that stuffed armadillo when you were born. We know how you carried that thing around everywhere. We have the pictures as evidence. And let me tell you that man buys the worst gifts. He once bought me an apple peeler for Christmas because I said that the worst part of making an apple pie is peeling the apples. Then there was the vacuum he bought me for our anniversary. Don’t even get me going on the at home wax kit he got me for my birthday last year. But ten year old Judd got it right that one time._

_I know that one of Judd’s most prized possessions is an old shoebox. It’s not nearly as filled as he wishes but the pictures, letters from Maddie, and copies of school progress reports have a special spot in his heart. That even though the pictures, letters, and report cards stop when you were six, they are still treasured today. That the shoebox has made it through every move your uncle made. From when Judd left his childhood home and moved into an apartment with a couple of buddies, to when we moved into our first tiny apartment together, to the house we live in now._

_I know you feel hurt and betrayed right now, but I don’t want you to feel like you were ever unloved by your father’s family. You are loved. So very loved. The Ryder men are just not that great at expressing it._

_I can totally understand if you’re not or will never be ready to know more about Danny, your granddaddy, Judd, or me. But I want you to know that Judd and I are here if or when you are._

_Take care,_

_Grace_

_PS Please be careful. Your uncle heard about that incident at the hand sanitizer plant from your buddies TK and Mateo._

**XXXXX**

Grace rolls over as unease sits in her stomach for the second morning in a row. It’s been a day and a half since she messaged Evan on Insta. Why did she send that DM? Maybe she would have been better off not saying anything. It’s one thing thinking that Evan doesn’t want anything to do with them but knowing that Evan is openly ignoring them is so much worse.

Plus now she has to tell Judd that it’s pretty much confirmed. Evan wants nothing to do with them.

She moves Judd’s arms from her waist and gets up, picking her phone up from the night stand. She unlocks her phone and sees that she has an Instagram notification. Her heart speeds up when she sees who it’s from.

 _I think I’m ready_. _And you can call me Buck. Everyone who knows me does._

**XXXXX**

“Mornin’, Gracie.” Judd says walking into the kitchen.

“Hey, mornin’,” Grace replies taking breakfast out of a paper bag.

Judd gives her a kiss on the cheek. ”Mhhhm, breakfast tacos.”

“Uh huh,” Grace says, taking a seat. Judd quirks his head to the side as he pulls out a chair. “What?”

He shakes his head as he unwraps a taco. “It’s just that breakfast tacos are my thing. Not yours.” Judd goes to take a bite but then stops suddenly. “What’s the date?”

“It’s the eleventh. And no, you didn’t forget anything. What, I can’t be nice?” Grace says as she pours herself some juice.

“You’re way too good to me, Gracie. Just trying to figure out what the special occasion is, if there is one.”

“I just know that there’s been a lot going on lately. And I know that this thing with Evan is eating you up inside.”

Judd puts his taco down. “Grace, stop. There’s nothing we can do. Evan knows and he obviously doesn’t want anything to do with us. Does it suck, yeah. Especially since I have to listen to TK and Carlos ramble on about what he’s up to. But it is what it is. I went twenty-nine years without seeing him, it’ll be fine.”

“Well, what if it doesn’t have to be?” Grace says taking a bite of her own taco.

“What are you talking about?”

“What if I told you that I messaged him the other night on Instagram.”

“You messaged him on Instagram?”

Grace nods her head. “I did.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Judd asks quietly. She can hear the hurt in his voice. The one thing he and Grace don’t do is lie to each other.

“I know I should have told you right after I did it, but I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“And?” Judd says picking his taco up again. “What happened? He tell you to back off?”

She gives him a smile. “He’s ready. He messaged me back. It wasn’t much. But we’re following each other now.”

Judd furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Grace is a step above social media amateur, but Judd is downright clueless when it comes to social media. “What the hell does that mean?”

Grace picks up her phone. “It means a step forward. He’s letting us see pieces of his life.” She smiles when Judd shakes his head. “See? Look here. This is Eddie.”

“Hollywood, I know him. ” Judd says pulling his chair closer. “That his kid?”

Grace nods her head. “Christopher. He’s Eddie’s. But it looks like they’re really close for a while. They do everything together. And that is—”

“Maddie,” Judd answers. He recognizes the brunette immediately even with her round belly. “Been years since I last saw her but she doesn’t look like she changed at all. She’s… Katies sister. Looks like she’s pregnant.”

Grace nods. She points to the man who has an arm around Maddie’s stomach. “This is the same guy who is in pictures from the firehouse. I think he must work with Buck. I think they call him Chim. I wonder why.”

Judd and Grace look through other pictures of Buck’s Instagram. There are a ton of them. A lot of the pictures are of Buck with Eddie and Christopher. But there are a lot of him with the other members of his firehouse. It looks like Buck is close with the other members of his firehouse, much like Judd is with the 126.

“Seems like he’s close with his captain’s family,” Judd says as he looks at pictures of what looks like were taken at a graduation party.

Grace puts her husband’s chest. “That’s a good thing. Didn’t you say Katie’s parents were pretty cold?”

“Yeah, they are.” Judd says sadly. He doesn’t want to think what the Buckley’s are like. How it was like for his nephew to grow up with people who were so cold and detached. He never met them, but them not letting his family attend Katie’s funeral pretty much said it all. “They call him Buckaroo?”

“You called him Dumbasser when you first met him and still call TK dumbass,” Grace says with a smile.

“That’s because TK is still a dumbass.”

As they continue going through pictures, Judd pulls Grace closer and kisses her on the forehead. She turns to look at him. “What was that for?”

Judd motions to the phone in her hand. “For that. I don’t know if I would have done what you did.”

“You wouldn’t have. But that’s okay. I know how your Ryder men are. Afraid of what might happen so you hold back,” she pats her husband on the chest. “It’s okay, that’s why you married me.”

“One of many reasons why,” Judd says with a smile before turning his attention back to Grace’s phone. It’s a small step. But it’s a definite step in the right direction.


	3. The Next Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After holding Maddie and Chim’s daughter, Buck begins to think about that picture of him and his uncle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is end of this little installment. I always had the plan of keeping it to three chapters. As the title says this is the period of limbo after Buck finding out the truth. But don’t worry, my next installment will feature the 126 reaction. The blurb is in the end notes.

Buck is looking through his phone at the pictures of his newborn niece, Amelia. Yes, Maddie may technically be his aunt making Amelia his cousin, but to him she is his niece. That’s what he knew her as until a couple of months ago back. And even after learning the truth, it’s still what he considers her now.

There are countless pictures of Amelia. By herself. With Maddie. With Chim. With both of her parents. With Albert, Hen, Bobby and other members of their little family. All warm his heart, but if he’s ever asked which one is his favorite it would be the one of a smiling Chris holding Amelia. One of his favorite people holding his newest favorite person. He even made that his profile pic on Instagram.

Still one picture that he keeps coming back to time and time again is another one. It was taken the first time he held Amelia.

“Hey, what are you looking at?” Eddie asks from the driver’s seat. They’re driving home from Maddie and Chim’s place. Maddie and the baby just came home the day before and they didn’t want to overwhelm her so just the two of them headed over for the afternoon for a visit. Now after getting their fill of new baby cuteness and leaving just as Amelia began to fuss, they’re on their way to Abuela’s house to pick up Christopher.

Buck holds up his phone when they’re stopped at a light. It’s the picture of him holding Amelia. Eddie smiles. “It’s a good one.”

Buck nods his head. “It is. It also got me thinking.”

“About what?”

“I still consider Amelia my niece, even after everything.” Eddie nods along as Buck continues. “I was thinking about that picture. The one with Judd and me when I was a baby. I don’t know what I would do if I was told that I couldn’t be a part of Amelia’s life and I’m an adult. Let alone a kid. I mean we haven’t told Christopher about Maddie really being my aunt. Things like that are confusing for adults, let alone a kid. It’s not fair what happened to Judd. Being told that he couldn’t see me. I know it’s years later, but still.”

“Still what?” Eddie asks. “You’ve been talking to Grace on Insta. Thought you said that was going well.”

Eddie’s right. He has been talking to Grace over the last month or so. And Grace is awesome. Grace likes his pictures on Insta and vice versa. She always replies when he sends her something new that he has learned about Texas. They share tales of the crazy calls they’ve had. She never pushes his father on him or any of his father’s family. Not even Judd. She lets him set the pace. Not saying anything even as he still has not reached out to Judd directly.

“You think you’re ready for more? Marjan keeps asking me why you and Grace are following each other since you’ve never met.” Eddie asks taking Buck’s hand into his.

Buck squeezes Eddie’s fingers. “I know. TK and Mateo are asking me the same thing.”

_“Why are you and Judd’s wife following each other? You two never even met. It’s kinda creepy.”_

_“Yeah, and does Judd even like you? He called you Dumbasser.”_

_“TK, he called you Dumbass.”_

_“Shut up, Probie.”_

“So what are you thinking?” Eddie says looking over to Buck.

“Let’s take our time going to pick up Chris from Abuela’s. I got a phone call to make first.”

**XXXXX**

Judd grabs a couple of beers and a can of Sprite from the fridge. He and Grace are hosting another very competitive game night with the Vegas, Cap, and Cap’s ex-wife. They’re in the middle of an intermission, ie bathroom break and a drink refill when his phone rings. He looks and sees that the call is coming from an LA area code. He’s about to ignore the call when something tells him not to.

“Hello?” He’s met with silence. Maybe it is just another damn robo call. “Anyone there?”

He’s about to hang up when he hears a tentative. “Judd? It’s me, Buck…Evan. You there?”

Judd closes his eyes. The voice on the other line sounds like a scared kid. Not the cocky firefighter who he caught with TK getting ready to steal a firetruck. _“Think you’re going to stop us?”_

The last couple of months have been rough on him, but they seemed to have been even more brutal for his nephew if his voice is any indication.

“Yeah, Buck. I’m here.”

_“Is now a good time?”_

He turns to the living room when he hears Grace let out a loud laugh, along with the others. “Now’s a good time.” Judd’s been waiting for this call for weeks, no years. He has spent countless nights thinking of what he was going to say and now that he has the chance, everything he planned on saying is gone. His mind is completely blank. “How are you? Steal any firetrucks lately?”

Or maybe not. As soon as the words he leaves his lips, he hangs his head. Did he really just say that?

_Buck lets out a choked laugh. “Um, no. Not lately. My captain, Bobby he keeps me in line.”_

Bobby Nash. From what Judd can tell from his nephew’s Instagram the kid and his Captain’s family are pretty tight. Nash’s step-daughter tags Buck in a lot of posts. And it looks like they do Sunday dinners. Judd can hear another voice faintly in the background. Probably Hollywood.

_“Most of the time.” Buck corrects,_

“So you only steal other department’s firetrucks when your boss isn’t around?” Judd jokes as he opens his beer. “You know when the cat’s away the mice will play?”

_“Huh?” Buck asks. “What about a cat?”_

Judd can’t help but smile when he hears his nephew’s confusion. Danny was never any good with idioms either. Still isn’t. _Why can’t you just come right out and say what you mean._

 _“Uhhh, anyways. I_ _don’t know if you know but Maddie was pregnant. She had her baby a couple of days ago. A little girl, Amelia.”_

“Congratulations,” Judd says sincerely, pouring the can of Sprite into a tall glass. He may not be happy with the choices Maddie made in the past, but he’s still happy for her.

_“Thanks…Chim, Maddie’s boyfriend, took a picture of me holding her. And now when I look at it all I can think of is that picture of you holding me. Do you remember that one?”_

Judd sniffs as he leans back against the counter. “Yeah, I remember it.”

_“It got me thinking. I know Amelia really isn’t my niece, but she is to me. And I know how much I love her already. I…I don’t know what I would do if what happened to you happened to me,” Buck lets out a loud sigh. “I know I’m rambling and I’m probably not making much sense here.”_

Judd shakes his head. “No I get it. Maddie’s daughter is still your niece. You’re right. That hasn’t changed. ”

_“I am?” Buck asks, so unsure of himself. “I mean I am. I’m not ready to talk to Danny or even your Dad yet, but I’ll like to talk to you if that’s okay?”_

Judd smiles. “Yeah, that’s more than okay.”

“Judd?” Grace calls as she walks into the kitchen. “What’s taking you…who you on the phone with?”

_“Is that Grace?” Buck asks eagerly. “Tell her I said hi.”_

“I will,” Judd says as Grace looks at him in confusion. “Ev…Buck wants me to tell you he said hi,” Judd says with a smile.

Grace puts her hand over her mouth in shock before pulling it away. “Hi Buck!”

“Thanks for giving him my number, Gracie.” Judd says handing her the glass of Sprite, kissing her on the cheek.

She shrugs, “I never gave him your number.”

_“Yeah, about that.” Buck lets out a nervous laugh. “I got your number from Athena, Cap’s wife. She may have done a background check on you guys when I found out the truth.”_

“Your captain’s wife ran a background check on us?” Judd asks, equal parts shocked and touched that Buck had people in his life who are so protective of him.

_“’Thena’s a little protective,” Buck replies._

“I can’t wait to meet her,” Grace says with a smile.

_“I don’t know when I’ll be able to get back to Texas. With work being crazy, the pandemic, and Christopher’s school schedule it might not be right away.”_

“Hey, don’t worry about it. There’s no rush,” Judd says. “Maybe by the time you get down here you’ll have another family member to meet.”

_“Judd, I don’t know when I’ll be ready to meet Danny or anyone else right now. I was thinking we can do just you, Grace, and the 126 for now.”_

“Well that might be a little hard.”

_“What do you mean by that?”_

Judd looks at Grace to give him the go ahead before he says anything else. They haven’t told anyone but Tommy and Charles. He puts his hand on her stomach. There’s no bump there, yet.

“Grace is pregnant.”

 _“She is?! That’s great!_ _Congratulations! That’s so awesome! I’ll have to send you the link to this chair Chim got Maddie for the dispatch center. Those chairs are awful. Oh man, I can’t wait to talk to TK and Mateo about this!”_

Grace looks at Judd in alarm. “Hold on there, Buckaroo. They don’t know yet. You keep this between us for now. Got it?”

_“They don’t know yet? You guys told me before them? Wow, thanks. That means a lot.”_

Judd doesn’t know exactly why he told Buck about Grace being pregnant. Maybe it was the fact that Buck lives hundreds of miles away and there’s a good chance they won’t see him in person until well after everyone else knows. Or maybe it’s that Grace got to tell Tommy without him there. Or maybe it’s that Judd just got caught up in the moment. Whatever the reason is hearing the heartfelt emotion in Buck’s voice proves that he made the right decision.

“What are you guys doing in there? You afraid you’re gonna lose the next round?” Cap calls from the living room. 

“Hey, Buck…”

_“It sounds like you have company over. I’ll let you guys go. Judd, thanks for picking up. I’m glad you did.”_

“I am too, kid. Call me any time. Okay?”

_“Will do. And I promise I won’t say anything to TK and Mateo.”_

“Thanks. Be safe, Buckaroo.”

_“You too, Judd.”_

Grace lets out a whistle when they hang up. “What a night.”

“Tell me about it.”

Grace leans in and kisses him. When she breaks away, she holds up her glass of Sprite. “To the next chapter.”

Judd touches his beer bottle to her glass “To the next chapter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Viral: It’s not that Judd planned on never telling the 126 the truth/ He just never found the right time to tell the other members of the 126 that their buddy Buck is also his long lost nephew. Plus, with the pandemic and Christopher’s school schedule, Buck hasn’t had a chance to return to Texas. There was no need to tell everyone the truth. That is, not until Judd loses his cool in front of his team after seeing a video of Buck getting hurt on a call.


End file.
